Gary is a comedy writer who's written for a long list of prime time sitcoms -- all flops. If you're wondering why Reality TV is so popular, look no further than Gary's resume. 

Gary did write one episode of The Simpsons, which he manages to mention five or six times a day. Ask Gary to pass the sugar, and he'll say something like, "You know, Homer passed the sugar to Bart in my Simpsons episode." It's kind of annoying.

Gary writes all the product descriptions that you read on Stupid.com. In fact, he designs the web pages and creates the graphics, too. He even wrote this bio you're reading, pretending someone else did it. It's pathetic.

If you happen to be a TV producer looking for a  writer, check out his interactive resume at the bottom of the page.